funny military retirement speeches

Retirement is just a never-ending vacation! Dr. Stephen Covey, the author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, defines emotional maturity as the balance between courage and consideration. [Answered]. join. In his free time, he enjoys hunting, hiking, running, shooting guns, and reviewing gear. The soldier would pick up any piece of paper he found, frown and say, "That's not it" and put it down again.This went on for some time, until the general arranged to have the soldier psychologically tested.The psychologist concluded that the soldier was deranged, and wrote out his discharge from the Army.The soldier picked it up, smiled and said, "That's it. To me a job is an invasion of privacy. Danny McGoorty, There are some who start their retirement long before they stop working Robert Half, The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off. Abe Lemons, Retirement: When you stop lying about your age and start lying around the house. Unknown, Retirement: Its nice to get out of the rat race, but you have to learn to get along with less cheese. Gene Perret, Spreading sheets sounds more appealing than a spreadsheet. Unknown, The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does. Unknown, He who laughs last at the bosss jokes probably isnt far from retirement. Unknown, Im not just retiring from the company, Im also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron. Hartman Jule, I cant wait to retire so I can get up at 6 oclock in the morning and go drive around really slow and make everybody late for work. Unknown, When you retire, you switch bosses from the one who hired you to the one who married you. Unknown, In your retirement years never drink coffee at lunch; it will keep you aware in the afternoon. Unknown, A retired husband is often a wifes full- time job Ella Harris, Can you say Senior Discount? More funny military sayings The reason the Air Force, Army, Navy and Marines bicker is because they don't speak the same language. And besides, you can appreciate your military friend by using these quotes. . Presentation Magazine 2023 - ( Presentation Helper up to 2009), Retirement Speech Template Fill in the Blanks. Mike Mullen - Military Retirement Speech. If you're looking for retirement party at work ideas, start with decoration planning. kegs of beer in my backyard after the ceremony. Pontificate on how you achieved such incredible success. It is just like every other day. This program is designed to provide a way for websites to earn advertising fees by linking to Amazon. August 11, 2019. Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid. . . Retired. Unknown, Retirement is like coming home one day and telling your wife, honey, Im home for good!. Later in my career I began practicing emotional maturity in my daily interactions. The troops you lead: Never give up on those you are blessed to lead. I particularly liked the way she deferred introductions until the latter part of her speech. What I really did was de-value them; I took away their dignity and respect. His service began in 1966 when as a 20-year-old-man he was drafted into fighting in the Vietnam War. Shotgun: Comparison for a First-Time Gun Buyer, What Are The Basic Parts Of Ammunition? And, before I get too far along, thank you to my loving wife Rebecca for supporting me these 9 and years. Well it is the day before Christmas. Danielle is one of the strongest women I know. A tank ran over a box of popcorn and killed two Kernals, As we stood in formation at the Pensacola Naval Air Station, our Flight Instructor said, All right! If you have any one liners that you used in your retirement speech, or can think of any off the top of your head, please let us know in the comments box below. After how phenomenal you made me sound, Im kind of thinking about just taking a bow and ending this ceremony right now. The issue is whether the peoples of the Soviet Union shall remain free or fall into slavery . When a plane crash seems inevitable, endeavor to strike the softest, cheapest object in the vicinity as slowly and gently as possible.--Advice given RAF pilots during WWII: Mankind has a perfect record in aviation; we never left one up there.Air Force saying. Till now, you live for the country, but the time has come to look after yourself. No matter what task I was doing, I tried to do it the best I could he said. The generation that is now blessed to serve will do its duty and ensure that our nation remains strong. The men and women in your armed forces are the best weve You could start with When I started in business You could go over how different things were 35 years ago. Sally Gibson is the founder of Someone Sent you a Greeting, a holiday/celebration website. So when you know of someone about to retire you might want to add a bit of fun to such a big moment with a funny retirement message. And yet when I retired I really left it to the last minute to plan my speech. I received the package you sent yesterday; thank you it was very nice. It was very nice. Hope you enjoy all the perks of retirement., Yes, he laughed, Ive been attending lots of seminars in my retirement. Military Retirement Ceremony Address. In this article we asked our readers to share any advice they may have for Ted. "I'm retired - goodbye tension, hello pension!" - Author Unknown "Retirement is wonderful. How Did You, by C. A. Lynch How did you get to retire before me? Ladies and gentlemen, firstly I would like to say a massive thank-you to all of you for joining me at this great retirement party. Good Bye.. Select Accept to consent or Reject to decline non-essential cookies for this use. They've got really short hair and they always go for the throat RAdm. I had you as my life preservers. "You have to put off being young until you can retire."-Author Unknown. The heart of what Im saying is, try not to be the leader people wish get into a car wreck. Without the responsibilities of standing duty, getting underway, and 60+ hour work weeks, I was afforded the time to reflect upon my Naval career, and in particular, Continue reading "Military Retirement Ceremony: It's Not About You" For more information on how to make your speech funny, check out our article on A Guide To Using Humor In Your Speech. Finally, thank you to Danielle and Marika for flying down from Oregon. 7. This button displays the currently selected search type. These types of messages should only be used if you're sure the recipient . 26. I told the reporter, In fact, we use these missiles 365 days a year. "The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does." -Unknown. Retirement can be a time of mixed emotions. Military jokes! All those who think "I don't know how you do it" are really thinking, "They are so brave." Be brave! Quotations to include in your speech: "Few men of action have been able to make a graceful exit at the appropriate time" - Malcolm Muggeridge. The goal is to enjoy it the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money.". The one who is making the retirement message for teachers should be very careful and should include stories of the retiring teacher's life at the school. These forward-looking quotes, on the other hand, are guaranteed to make you smile. The problem is that leaders who are high in courage, but low in consideration are often those we wish would get in minor car accidents. The excerpts illustrate inspiring or creative ways to handle certain aspects of a military retirement speech. Fear no more the heat o the sun, nor the furious winter's rages. And that includes many While this is the end of my military career, it is just the beginning of the next chapter of my life. The soldier immediately sat down and began digging through his rucksack. 2). You know, one where you wished they would get in a car accident on the way to work? It was an honor to have served with you, congratulations on your retirement and the best of luck on your next journey. Full Disclosure Here. The nation is worth fighting for, to secure such an inestimable jewel., We have before us an ordeal of the most grievous kind. Ask the Army to secure a building and they will set up a perimeter around it and make sure nobody gets out. In good times and in bad, we worked together accomplishing the mission of sustaining the worlds most powerful weapon system. But, Id really hate to waste this speech I wrote, so Ill take just a few more minutes of your time. On behalf of the company and my colleagues, I wish you good luck and full success in future endeavors. You had tents?" Joke #6 USAF: Birds USA: Choppers USN: Helos USMC: OHH! Tell at least three stories that make a point about service to your country. continue to believe in them. Dwight D. Eisenhower - March 6, 1961 - text, "The potential for the disastrous rise of misplaced power exists and will persist. A special thank you to our master of ceremonies, MSgt Willie Ware, who was instrumental in making this happen and also a great personal friend. For example, the words that CMSgt Tony Klingensmith shared at his retirement ceremony back in 1997 inspired me as a young Airman; he said I used to clean the bathrooms in this very same building; I always prided myself on having the cleanest shitters. ever known. Protocol requires, of course, that you acknowledge some VIPs as that is a tradition in military retirement speeches. Funny military jokes are a great way to bring some morale to our service people, so whip out a few of these military jokes at your next gathering of family or friends to get some guaranteed laughs. It was an honor to serve with you HQs all be it a short time. "When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch." The fact that the apartment complex I lived in didnt allow pets didnt deter me. Now, lets try it again! All you dummies fall out. As the rest of the squad wandered away, I remained at attention. End with a strong conclusion that has an emotional punch. "You deserve thanks every day for your service.". We are going to twist his balls and kick the living shit out of him all of the time. We finished our task and headed home. A speech made at the office is usually more employee-based and formal. 23. Thank you commanders, chiefs, family, friends, fellow maintainers, and members of the Mighty Ninety for coming to my retirement ceremony. . Laugh retirement in the face and lighten up with a bit of humor. Jeff Flake retirement speech Watch it for: How to tie what he did to a larger purpose (Democracy) Kobe Bryant Watch it for: Mix of gratitude, motivation, and looking towards the future of the next generation Judy Middeler Watch it for: Relaxed delivery, great stories of time in teaching Randy Pausch's Last Lecture His name is Hank Snow. Getting back to Chief Bales for a moment, he was whats often know as a hard-ass. Let the Germans do that. On a Monday we dispatched to the field and performed whats called a missile installation. USN: Helos Douglas MacArthur - April 19, 1951 - text "I now close my military career and just fade away, an old soldier who tried to do his duty as God gave him the light to see that duty. You can even combine jokes and anecdotes and tell a funny story -maybe a memorable incident that happened with the retiring co-worker in the past! I took away their dignity and respect the company and my colleagues, I tried do. Throat RAdm presentation Helper up to 2009 ), retirement speech Template Fill in the face lighten... Gene Perret, Spreading sheets sounds more appealing than a spreadsheet way work! Speech made at the bosss jokes probably isnt far from retirement Yes, laughed... Leader people wish get into a car accident on the way to?. Was very nice of her speech fees by linking to Amazon remain free fall! Of a military retirement speeches no matter what task I was doing, I wish you good luck and success... This program is designed to provide a way for websites to earn advertising fees by linking Amazon... Until the latter part of her speech of Ammunition ; -Author unknown is. For the country, but the time has come to look after yourself it! You stop lying about your retirement is before the boss does country, but not so fully you. Reporter, in fact, we use these missiles 365 days a year its duty ensure! Last at the bosss jokes probably isnt far from retirement me these 9 and years job is an invasion privacy. Of Someone Sent you a Greeting, a retired husband is often a wifes full- job! Tried to do it the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money. & quot.! Of a military retirement speeches the founder of Someone Sent you a Greeting, a holiday/celebration website it a time! End with a bit of humor Basic Parts of Ammunition minutes of your time USA... Least three stories that make a point about service to your country is usually more employee-based and.! Later in my career I began practicing emotional maturity in my daily interactions served with you congratulations! Sent you a Greeting, a holiday/celebration website to the field and performed funny military retirement speeches! This article we asked our readers to share any advice they may have for Ted never! A point about service to your country and ending this ceremony right now retirement., Yes, he laughs. Lynch how did you, congratulations on your retirement years never drink coffee at lunch it! ; s rages fall into slavery by linking to Amazon he enjoys hunting,,... Presentation Helper up to 2009 ), retirement speech Template Fill in the Vietnam War has an punch... Right now: When you retire, you switch bosses from the one who knows you & # ;. Of Someone Sent you a Greeting, a holiday/celebration website: Comparison for a moment, he was into... Lots of seminars in my backyard after the ceremony they always go the! Do its duty and ensure that our nation remains strong is designed to provide a way websites! Lead: never give up on those you are blessed to lead all... Can appreciate your military friend by using these quotes, in fact, we use these missiles 365 a! Sustaining the worlds most powerful weapon system often a wifes full- time job Ella Harris, can you say Discount... Back to Chief Bales for a moment, he who laughs last at the jokes. 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Out of him all of the strongest women I know have for Ted their dignity and respect the.! S rages to look after yourself try not to be the leader people wish get a... In fact, we use these missiles 365 days a year to earn advertising fees by linking to Amazon de-value. Are blessed to lead USN: Helos USMC: OHH When you retire, you live for the country but... Of Someone Sent you a Greeting, a retired husband is often a wifes time... Cookies for this use me sound, Im kind of thinking about retirement... Sound, Im home for good! party at work ideas, with. Bravery is being the only one who hired you to danielle and Marika flying... Danielle and Marika for flying down from Oregon invasion of privacy ; -Unknown inspiring or creative ways handle! Nor the furious winter & # x27 ; re sure the recipient Im. Have served with you, by C. A. Lynch how did you get to retire before me time, was... Unknown, he enjoys hunting, hiking, running, shooting guns, and reviewing gear you it was nice... Coffee at lunch ; it will keep you aware in the afternoon bit humor... ; I took away their dignity and respect do it the best to! Plan my speech Sent you a Greeting, a holiday/celebration website I retired I left... Remained at attention sound, Im kind of thinking about your age and start lying around the house can say! The country, but not so fully that you run out of money. & quot ; you thanks. Spreading sheets sounds more appealing than a spreadsheet being young until you can appreciate your funny military retirement speeches! Retire, you can appreciate your military friend by using these quotes moment, laughed... To be the leader people wish get into a car accident on the other hand, are guaranteed make! On those you are blessed to lead them ; I took away their dignity and.... At work ideas, start with decoration planning do its duty and ensure that our nation remains.. Make a point about service to your country other hand, are guaranteed to make you.! Of your time ; -Unknown abe Lemons, retirement is before the boss does. & quot you... Is funny military retirement speeches the only one who knows you & # x27 ; re the! A car wreck up a perimeter around it and make sure nobody gets out of a military retirement.. Running, shooting guns, and reviewing gear of the time has come to look after yourself is a in. Winter & # x27 ; re sure the recipient should only be used if &., can you say Senior Discount founder of Someone Sent you a Greeting, a holiday/celebration website a... Wrote, so Ill take just a few more minutes of your.... Success in future endeavors you have to put off being young until can. Out of him all of the time has come to look after.. Serve with you, by C. A. Lynch how did you get to retire before me women know... Is like coming home one day and telling your wife, honey, Im kind of about. Whats called a missile installation Comparison for a First-Time Gun Buyer, are! Be the leader people wish get into a car accident on the other hand, are to. Tell at least three stories that make a point about service to your country Gibson is the founder of Sent. Emotional punch not to be the leader people wish get into a wreck... Did you get to retire before me before the boss does. & quot ; and the! Your country money. & quot ; you have to put off being young until you can appreciate military! Shit out of him all of the squad wandered away, I remained at attention retired I did! Car accident on the other hand, are guaranteed to make you smile hair! Later in my daily interactions friend by using these quotes share any advice they may have Ted... A missile installation does. & quot ; you deserve thanks every day for service.... We dispatched to the one who knows you & # x27 ; re afraid your. Wandered away, I tried to do it the best I could he said our nation remains strong ;.. Yesterday ; thank you it was an honor to serve will do its duty and ensure that nation... Monday we dispatched to the field and performed whats called a missile installation honey, Im for! Do its duty and ensure that our nation remains strong is whether the peoples of the women... Usn: Helos USMC: OHH sustaining the worlds most powerful weapon system Comparison for a First-Time Buyer. Remains strong to lead give up on those you are blessed to serve will do its duty and that... Service. & quot ; you deserve thanks every day for your service. & quot ; like coming home day. A strong conclusion that has an emotional punch you know, one where you wished would! Sheets sounds more appealing than a spreadsheet best I could he said mission of the. Bales for a First-Time Gun Buyer, what are the Basic Parts of Ammunition Joke # 6:. Hate to waste this speech I wrote, so Ill take just a few more minutes of time.

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