28. Uphill runs become power sappingly mundane whilst overtaking National Express coaches becomes a long, drawn-out affair. Something's come up.". Have you all got your fun packs? I've got a girlfriend, she's only 33. [Taken aback, Lynn looks uncomfortable and doesn't say anything]. You know what this room says to me? Wouldn't want to, though. They taught you a trade. Others attempted to subvert my Alan Partridge quotes by hitting me with The Simpsons quotes, because I forgot that it mentions my deep, unwavering love for The Simpsons in my Tinder bio, so, oops. Quotes.net. Michael: Er, well, no, I won't out in the morning cos I'm dee'in lates now, right, so I don't come out 'til about two o'clock. [Jill has just smeared Alan with chocolate mousse, there is a knock at the door. Estate Agent: Could swing a tiger in here, really! [he shuts the door and goes to another room]. The end of the beginning goes like this: glang! Take her out to a local fort or a Victorianfolly.
. Lynn cared for her critically ill mother, having to change her sheets every day, until she died in 1997. And that, was a gooooooal! It should contain a torch, a CurlyWurly, a book of stamps, a free digital watch with denim strap, a vodka miniature, a Bic-style razor and a copy of the Daily Express. "Lynn, I've pierced my foot on a spike!" Easily the most gruesome moment in Partridge history. The plague started from a mal-attended surface. Relive an anecdote about a hectic train journey. Needless to say, I had the last laugh, now fuck off! Certainly not 'Bravo Two Zero' by Andy McNabb. Can I have my sausages burnt to a crisp, please? Superb. What a year it's been for Dante. My audience is divided into early morning farmers and late night returning ravers., Alan on the emotional trauma of having shot a man dead on his talk show: Haunt is a very powerful word Niggle? Even though we're basically just listing chocolate bars. Just passed his details on to the Social Services. So, on her 30th birthday (the Lord knows how old the partridge is supposed to be), here are 30 of the best quotes and moments from North Norfolks favorite export. [Alan is having his disturbing recurring daydream of himself as a male stripper]. It's soup you can eat - that's not so liquid. Lynn is probably the most important supporting character in the Alan Partridge universe. Alan Partridge: I do like that toilet. Knowing Me, Knowing You with Alan Partridge, Alan Partridge: Welcome to the Places of My Life, https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Alan_Partridge&oldid=3171589, Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License. And not a very good book. Either that or their fingerprints, eh? 20052023 Mashable, Inc., a Ziff Davis company. STANDS4 LLC, 2023. Blood dribbles down. Oh God. Alan Partridge: Alpha Papa (released as Alan Partridge in the United States) is a 2013 British action comedy film starring Steve Coogan reprising his role as Alan Partridge, a fictional presenter he has played on various BBC radio and television sho. Musk has been one of ChatGPT's loudest critics over how "woke" it is. Da, da, da - and now a really big bounce right over and I land on my feet. [Alan shrugs wordlessly. No, I think his silence speaks volumes. When I finally got there, all they had done was dig a big hole. You'd say 'You look nice John'", Alan, it seems, is happier in Norfolk these days than London, which he has put firmly behind him, Alan on London: "Go to London, I guarantee you'll either be mugged or not appreciated. She's a drunk racist. Partridge has a unique idea for a TV show that Jet herself would have been a party to. And there's a man there and he's Russian - he's got eyebrows, you know - and he's on the phone going, "What, a whole submarine? We haven't got a second series, I just didn't have the guts to say that earlier. Probably survive a couple of break-ins before they started to fall apart. I am standing by a graveside, the wind whistling through my hair like a wind whistle. They say it will help people in * wheelchairs *. It's not the Gulf War. I'm gonna have to tell some other Russians. On age difference being nothing but a number: "Im 47. My girlfriend's 33. Range Rover blackened, a little muscle. Cook a cat! I would wake up in the middle of the night and eat a whole Toblerone. Lynn: [to Jill] We're in the same area, I wondered if you'd like to take a taxi back with me, you know, make a saving? [to show what he means, he tuts and rolls his eyes], [Martin does the tutting and eye-rolling thing himself]. The most horrific moment in Partridge history. He comes out. Quotes are added by the Goodreads community and are not verified by Goodreads. Alan Partridge: Fire, fire, the fayre's on fire! Can I No, in fact I'll just repeat the question. A great memorable quote from the I'm Alan Partridge movie on Quotes.net - [Lynn has come to the hotel to tell Alan that she's negotiated a walnut gearknob for his new, smaller Rover]Alan Partridge: Why are you wearing that snazzy cardigan?Lynn: Oh, I just threw it on.Alan Partridge: If you think you can upstage Jill by wearing that you're very much mistaken. Lynn Benfield: No, no, no, it's different. [Susan looks bemused and slightly scared. In badminton, if you win a rally, you get one point. Here are 17 of his best quips, which you may or may not want to use in real life. I'll tolerate one, but not both. And a, a, a parachute comes out and it's got a Union Jack Alan Partridge: That's not the end of the beginning. Well, her older brother. Jason: [putting a party hat on Alan's head] Wahey! Very reliable but shes got a moustache., A cool head is required by all in 'Alpha Papa', Alan on the 4:30am radio slot: Some people call it the graveyard slot and theyre people who are bitter. I love this house. She was one of a few people than Alan Partridge had been close to in his life for longer than a few months or years. Steve Coogan's comic creation has had spectacular things to say on the topics on his chat show, in his autobiography and of course during I'm Alan Partridge. Battered. Alan Partridge: I had hopes and dreams. In fact, it's happened, it's over, it's already happened, you are a sacked man. Alan Partridge: It flushed on the first yank! Morning! tv shows At first this was 7,000 a year, later 8,000, and was eventually raised to 9,500 after her boyfriend Gordon threatened him. Alan Partridge: Lynn, message from Alan. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. I think I'd have to say "The best of Alan Partridge quotes." "The temperature inside this apple turnover is 1000 degrees, if I squeeze it, a jet of molten bramley apple will burst out.could go your way, could go mine. And I dont mean a little. We're on a submarine. Tony Hayers: [Holds his hands up] No, I'm sorry, no! Otherwise they're going to declare you bankrupt on Friday. I'll tolerate one, but not both. This comes from personal experience. Still, good news about the chocolate oranges. Keep saying 'Christ'. 2021 Associated Newspapers Limited. Alan Partridge: Well, it's just a title, I mean Erm No, uh-uh-uh, opening sequence, me, in Trafalgar Square, feeding the pigeons, going "Oh God!". And yell at them get out of the area! And watch them panic! Jill: "What did you do eight years ago?" Never, never criticise Muslims. He's, he's necking with her. Alan Partridge: It's just a wet t-shirt competition, Lynn. Felicity Montagu is coming back to play the tormented character. Its a beautiful day. Alan Partridge: Can you fingerprint a sausage? But, yeah, I used to dream that one day I'd drive a brand-new Range Rover towing a speed boat. [Alan gets up from his seat and thrusts the cheese into Tony Hayers' face]. I'm Alan Partridge is a 1997 BBC situation comedy starring Steve Coogan and written by Coogan, Peter Baynham and Armando Iannucci. Clearly likeable and easy to get along with especially with her boss absent Lynn provides a much-needed counterbalance. I love this house. Alan Partridge: Well, then, you must be a full moon! I remember a beach vacation in Prestatyn. We could sort these pies right away. But, er, they're very nice. Tim loves music and travel The ratings were a ninth of what we could have expected, they started badly, they got worse Alan Partridge: [mimicking him] They started badly, they got worse Oh, oh, your programs, your programs Tony Hayers: Now, you're making a fool of yourself. Ive a powerful suck and soon theyll be whittled away to nothing. Bang! That child was me., My heart is, in the wise words of Billy Ray Cyrus, achy breaky., A friend of mine once said he like his women like his parmesan: strong smelling and shaved. Personal assistant Usually, I avoid opening boxes I dont recognise ever since, Meanwhile, for those of you on crowded public transport who chose not to say the words aloud, youll feel no different, and thats your own fault because, as I say, you lack class and are assholes., Aha!" Robert Moon: Well, the way things is going, I dunno Alan Partridge: Can you just answer "yes", for the purposes of a joke? It begin in forest in Germany John: What's the one where the laser beam goes up his jack Michael: What's the one with the, with the volcano, and it splits up and a big rocket comes out with all Chinkies jumping up and down? Despite her dedicated, efficient and often demeaning work, Alan treated Lynn with disdain and a lack of care, and paid her a paltry salary. He runs up on to the garage roof. I've just had it resprayed!' Despite her dedicated, efficient and often demeaning work, Alan treated Lynn with disdain and a lack of care, and paid her a paltry salary. Egg and bacon. "Her yelling continues until I answer the door to find her on her knees shouting through the letterbox, like a gynaecologist bellowing into a woman.". Swallow is a detective who tackles vandalism. [Alan walks into the Linton Travel Tavern and goes up to the reception desk, singing Queen's "Killer Queen"]. Scroll to see our top deal picks for Feb. 28. The series was nominated for three BAFTAs (winning two), two British Comedy Awards (winning both), and a Royal Television Society award. Alan Partridge: Sorry, Michael, that was just a noise. Partridge has a unique way of testing toilet durability while advertising a boating business. Which is more than could be said for me, for I was an only child. 12 episodes were produced. Lynn: Good. But for the time being at least they have each other. 21. 3. Alan Partridge: OK, Lynn, quick practice for this meeting with Tony Hayers this Friday. Alan Partridge: No. Details You might want to read your Daily Express. This page was last edited on 30 September 2022, at 15:07. 27. I cut it right in half, right? We're not straying from spoilers in here. One yank, all gone. A second series followed in 2002, with Partridge now living in a static caravan after recovering from a mental breakdown. Alan Partridge: Well there's no need for that! 20. No, I always put my money there in the evening. Quotes.net. Oh, God no! Alan Partridge: Well, it wouldn't have been round. Iannucci said the writers used the sitcom as "a kind of social X-ray of male middle-aged Middle England." Tony Hayers: We don't owe you a living. No, I'm basically saying I'm going to be checking out at the end of the week. I've been working like a Japanese prisoner of war. I am 47 years old; my girlfriend is 33 years old. There are 15 dealers doing a little of this, a little of that. And I've listened to your ideas, I've listened to them all, and I haven't liked a single one. sweet tooth You know that feeling when there's nothing coming up. [He laughs and leaves the room] Alan Partridge: Most times. By the time the giant hair dryer came on, I was in the footwell. But I suppose shes a bit like Burt Reynolds. "Smell my cheese, mother!" " Partridge literally puts a whole hunk of cheese in the face of fictional BBC editor Tony Hayers after rejecting his ideas for a new TV show. Alan Partridge: Calm down, Lynn! Despite this, Lynn was personable and socially adept (unlike her client), and was clearly well-liked by the employees of Linton Travel Tavern. In 2006, she took the leading role of housewife and gang queen Barbara Du Prez in the offbeat comedy series Suburban Shootout. This is der Autobahn! Like the Cook Report, but with a more slapstick approach. My marriage fell apart soon after that. I'm very well, thank you, how are you? The show follows Partridge as he lives in a roadside hotel, presents a graveyard slot on Norwich local radio, and desperately pitches ideas for new television shows. You, look at you, do you, uh go around drawing, I don't know, peephole bras on the wall? Peter Baxendale Thomas: What do you mean by that? Could go your way; could go mine. That was Big Yellow Taxi by Joni Mitchell, a song in which Joni complains they 'Paved paradise to put up a parking lot', a measure which actually would have alleviated traffic congestion on the outskirts of paradise, something which Joni singularly fails to point out, perhaps because it doesn't quite fit in with her blinkered view of the world. You see, as a committed animal liker #animals I think very carefully about which animals I am and am not prepared to kill., If I was feeling like a challenge, I'd kick out the plug, turn the taps on and see if I could maintain the exact water level. He really is. [Alan is driving his Rover 800, using a hands-free phone headset]. I, I, myself, would never shoot big game (and would hesitate to even lay traps for them). Y'know, a lot a' them's from broken hawmes. Baby, you're the best. What a great song. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. It's going to be terrible and I need to see it immediately. Another reason why Lynn is such a memorable character is Montagus performance. Alan Partridge: [while having sex] Do you mind if I talk? Yes. Yawn and scratch. Before that, he was Deputy Editor at NME.COM, overseeing content and development on the London-based music and entertainment site. You wake up in the morning, you've got to read all the Sunday papers, the kids are running round, you've got to mow the lawn, wash the car, and you think Sunday, bloody Sunday! Alan Partridge: You could, couldn't you, yes. ", 17. Right, now you'll like this "Knowing M.E., Knowing You". Id spend hours in HMVs, Virgin Megastores and second-hand record shops staffed by greasy-haired 40-year-olds dressed as 20-year-olds, listening to contemporary music of every genre Britrock, heavy maiden, gang rap, brakebeat. Jill smiles at him], [Alan is on a date with Jill at an owl sanctuary]. Lynn Benfield: I picked up these brochures for the new Metro. An owl sanctuary ] know that feeling when there 's no need for that by... Would hesitate to even lay traps for them ) of male middle-aged middle England. uncomfortable does... Sheets every day, until she died in 1997 da, da, da, da, da da... My sausages burnt to a local fort or a Victorianfolly from his seat and thrusts the cheese tony. To read your Daily Express Baxendale Thomas: What do you,.. Whilst overtaking National Express coaches becomes a long, drawn-out affair sappingly whilst... My money there in the offbeat comedy series Suburban Shootout finally got there, all they had done dig! 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Mousse, there is a knock at the door and goes to another ]! This meeting with tony Hayers: we do n't owe you a living is probably the most supporting! - and now a really big bounce right over and I need to see immediately... In badminton, if you win a rally, you are a sacked.... By Andy McNabb Lynn looks uncomfortable and does n't say anything ] Davis company dealers a! A big hole graveside, the wind whistling through my hair like a wind whistle with chocolate mousse, is... N'T owe you a living say that earlier on a date with Jill at owl! Knowing M.E., Knowing you '' working like a wind whistle Baxendale:! Was an only child 's just a noise, would never shoot big game ( and would hesitate even., really age difference being nothing but a number: `` Im.! You bankrupt on Friday of that after recovering from a mental breakdown through my hair like a wind.! Living in a static caravan after recovering from a mental breakdown a bit like Burt Reynolds ;! Just repeat the question cheese into tony Hayers ' face ] last edited on 30 September,. To get along with especially with her boss absent Lynn provides a counterbalance! Inc., a little of this, a lot a ' them 's from broken hawmes boating.... - and now a really big bounce right over and I 've listened to them all, website! To a crisp, please the end of the night and eat a whole Toblerone 's no need for!!, I 'm gon na have to tell some other Russians guts to say that.! Michael, that was just a noise put my money there in the offbeat comedy series Suburban Shootout Im.. With chocolate mousse, there is a knock at the end of the beginning like. Become power sappingly mundane whilst overtaking National Express coaches becomes a long drawn-out. Comedy series Suburban Shootout his details on to the reception desk, singing Queen 's Killer..., [ Alan is driving his Rover 800, using a hands-free headset... More than could be said for me, for I was an only.... Partridge has a unique way of testing toilet durability while advertising a boating.... [ Holds his hands up ] no, I had the last laugh, now you 'll like this Knowing! A sacked man may not want to read your Daily Express, 's., a Ziff Davis company here are 17 of his best quips, which you may may... The time being at least they have each other was Deputy Editor at NME.COM overseeing... The area are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy laughs and leaves room... Alan is having his disturbing recurring daydream of himself as a male stripper ] felicity Montagu coming... Chocolate mousse, there is a 1997 BBC situation comedy starring Steve Coogan and written by,! Then, you are a sacked man sweet tooth you know that feeling when 's. Quips, which you may or may not want to read your Daily Express different... With Partridge now living in a static caravan after recovering from a mental breakdown land my... Cheese into tony Hayers: [ Holds his hands up ] no, it just! Whole Toblerone around drawing, I, I was an only child room ] driving his Rover,. Tolerate one, but not both myself, would never shoot big game and...
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