Husband, from coffin: . Husband: *completely and utterly silent* Guys, never go to bed if youre still fighting with your wife. Twitter/@JustinGuarini. She has a dynamic set of experiences from advertising, academia, and journalism. Meanwhile, many law-firm professionals specializing in divorces agree that the pandemic created the perfect storm for couples in lockdown. Me: Yes. @wife_housy, Most of your time being married is spent saying, I never heard you say that. @sarcasticmommy4, When my wife asks me to do the one thing in the bedroom that she really likes, shes talking about vacuuming. My hubby called me by my real name the other day, instead of "dear", "hun", "possum", etc. "I'm always mowing the lawn!" People are social animals, but we still need some alone time. Which one of these tweets about marriage is your favorite? Me: Whatever will keep you awake past the opening credits. It took me a long time to convince him that it was definitely near him and that I did not have it. I definitely have. He will be missed. If anything, the boundaries have just disappeared altogether. Husbands love to walk through the background of their wives' Zoom meetings, but it's rarely the other way around. You dont want to have to pretend in front of them. We've spent about a fifth of our marriage quarantined together. On the other hand, just like all crises, the worldwide pandemic has made already strong relationships even stronger. Every other week, we round up the funniest quips about married life from the Twitterverse. Whenever my husband calls me from the grocery store he whispers. Sent my husband nudes and he asked me which mole I was worried about. Made it to that level of marriage where you get in trouble for being able to fall asleep so fast. I wrote them for Valentines Day but they are funny enough to make you laugh all year long. ", So rude of my wife to not tell me about the schools gift exchange event for which we both got multiple emails, How my wife changes the toilet paper. Wife: I need some chicken stock.Me: okay. Now it is even worst. Employee They Disrespected, I Used AI To See What These 30 Popular Cartoon Characters Would Look Like In Real Life, And Here's The Result (New Pics), People Are Roasting Airbnb For Getting Completely Out Of Hand, Here Are 30 Of The Most Savage Tweets, Employee Laughs In Boss' Face For Saying It's "Unethical" To Make Plans After Work, Takes The Case To The Director, "Lost In History": 50 Pictures That Shed A New Light On Our Past, 50 Frightening Pics That Make Us Want To Stay As Far Away From The Ocean As Possible (New Pics), 30 Pictures Of Beautiful Bangladeshi People By Mou Aysha (New Pics), 79 Surreal Images Of Sneakers Placed In Some Very Interesting Locations By Carlos Jimnez Varela. Wife: "Be right back, my wife is in the kitchen and I need to go stand in front of the cabinet shes about to open. My husband: We were way over on groceries last month. This is a cocktail that, when laid out in a Twitter post, makes a perfect comedy nugget and wisdom bite all at once. This Queer Quarantine Love Story Captures the Hearts of Everyone Who Reads It, People Are Learning About Their Partners' Work Personalities During Quarantine, Parents Share Hilarious Pictures of What It's Like to Quarantine With Kids. Error occurred when generating embed. Me: I havent shaved, I'm really gassy and my hemorrhoids are killing me. Turns out, 76% of new cases came from female clients, which makes it 16% higher when compared to the same time a year ago. Definitely get married so you too can enjoy fighting over important issues like different grains of rice before 8AM. Welcome to marriage. My husband just said, "I haven't had a cantaloupe this good since 1990!" Kids are mean. Trapped. We all thought that the quarantine would give us the time and focus to write our next book/tidy up the garage/pick up painting again. Is that a threat? Many don't have a salary anymore. Sometimes I look at my beautiful wife eating queso straight out of the jar with a spoon and remember how lucky I am. With that type of dynamic in place in a relationship, you can get through anything and will come out stronger, closer and more in love than you were before.. Renting a place of their own, working hard to get a promotion at work so they can afford to live on their own, asking a friend if they would be interested in sharing a place, flirting with new people to have a replacement ready, he gave examples of how some people prepare to end their relationship. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. Husband: Ugh, no thanks. What did he think was going to happen? You have an specific situation. I ran out of deodorant four days ago. Adult flavored, never thought of that. pic.twitter.com/LQj6XdCjQh, Friendly reminder that its not you, its just the photos your husband takes of you, *winks at security camera as I grab tampons off the shelf for my wife*, it's adorable, my husband thinks i worked out but i just have the face sweats from eating salt and vinegar chips. I swear, sometimes I don't understand how men survive. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. Fortunately, there are ways of making married life easier during the quarantine. Marriage: Part of your knee was on my side of the bed again last night. @social_mime. So, I hope that the men who are experiencing relationship problems during the Covid-19 pandemic are learning what they can to improve their relationship and avoid a breakup or divorce when society goes back to normal, Dan told Bored Panda. Check your inbox, and click on the link to activate your account. Here's 16 of the most hilarious tweets about living with your spouse through 2020 and into 2021. Me, I said what I said.. Jonas is a Bored Panda writer who previously worked as a world news journalist elsewhere. Wife: I told you I watched a YouTube video. 2017-2023 The Super Mom Life. This is me. Search, watch, and cook every single Tasty recipe and video ever - all in one place! There's no doubt about it between the hilarious challenges of being quarantined with your spouse due to the pandemic and the everyday hilarity of marriage, husbands, wives, and partners. Husband: *snoring*Me: jfc. This time, she has set out on a journey to investigate the ways in which we communicate ideas on a large scale. Phone: (214) 653-7099. Hard seltzer is hard to perfect, and sorry, but Whiteclaw ain't it. , Have told mine to get one from under the tree for his bday lots. Offers may be subject to change without notice. We had a good run. @iwearaonesie, Husband got excited thinking I was touching myself under the covers but I was actually just opening a Kit Kat I didnt want to share. People obviously love their spouses but imagine having to spend every single moment of your time with them (there is no escape!). Anyone can write on Bored Panda. We go with, "Whatcha doin'?" *turns up the tv*. My wife just sliced some cheese onto a cutting board, poured out a box of crackers on top of it and declared, Charcuterie to our dinner guests so naturally Ill be proposing to her again tonight. Marriage or a long-term relationship can be quite funny at times. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Me: Wife: Ooops! Before marrying someone, listen long and hard to the sounds of their chewing because that's the soundtrack to the rest of your life. Your image is too large, maximum file size is 8 MB. I do all the cooking/cleaning as my lady just has no skill in the field..she made a great adult film actress though! Surgeon: I can't find the clot #Quarantine week 3. But we did go into marriage already giving each other reports about our poops, so nothing much has changed. by . Without that, you can end up taking the other persons presence for granted. (she comes in to look, a bottle of sea salt magically appears right next to the paprika). And I think the reality for many has been a far cry from that.. Most stay at home orders contain provisions for seeking safety- especially from domestic violence. a 34% rise in sales of divorce agreements, Flashback Girl: Lessons on Resilience From a Burn Survivor, 76% of new cases came from female clients, which makes it 16%, Woman Shows How "Harry Potter" Characters Were Supposed To Look According To Book Descriptions (35 Pics), Overworked Employee Quits Because He Wasn't Getting A Fair Wage, Costs The Company $40 Million, Bride Doesn't Include Wedding Dinner Price In Her Wedding Invites, Is Surprised To See Many Guests Canceling On Her After They Find Out, 30 Y.O. Most importantly, though, husbands, wives, and partners, they all contributed to a huge public service. Here are 50 of our favorites: Now that 2020 is finally (almost) over, we're looking back on the year. Husband: so let me tell you about the history of rockets. Honestly, that is a good answer though. After 6 weeks of quarantine: husband is annoying. Time to alert HR. Snoring will never help your argument. I'm so honored that you've found us! Below, check out 50 of the best ones that will have you laughing into 2022. (Closed), I Make Micro Crochet Toys That Fit In A Tiny Glass Bottle (35 Pics). Well, I'm sure this is because he usually lies about the grocery store not having something. Ah, yes, a classic game. Her current mission is to find a magic formula for how to make ideas, news, and other such things spread like a virus. My wife said shed buy her own birthday cake this is a test right. I read some testimonies about a love spell caster by DR Iwisa on how he has helped lots of people in bringing back their ex lovers within 48hours, Sincerely I was just thinking if that was real and if this man could really help bring back my lover whom I love so much. Note: this post originally had 150 images. When are men available to do chores? i feel the saMe: huh? Not a good time for equality. Most safe havens and associations are closed, hotels as well. 1 Marriage is finding the one person you dislike slightly less than anyone else and deciding to pay bills together Woman Takes DNA Test For Fun Only To Discover Her Long-Term Boyfriend Is Her Full Sibling, Woman Flabbergasted At Thrift Store's Prices, Calls Them Out By Sharing 14 Examples, "I Just Said Thank You And Left": Mans Nice Gesture Is Praised After Pizza Hut Driver Got A $20 Tip On A $938 Order, 50 Times People Were So Surprised With How Perfectly Things Lined Up, They Just Had To Document It, Woman Is Upset That Neighbors Shed Is Too Big, Calls Inspector, Regrets It When They Maliciously Comply, European Is Shocked To Learn How American Suburbs Work, Goes Online To Ask Some Accurate Questions, "Never Come Back To My Restaurant": Chef Bans Rude Restaurant Patrons And Gives $1,350 Bill To 22 Y.O. Husband, Im going to the store, do you need anything? As for the chores, women work too, but they do double duty as always. Amazing. I dont get why he cant find things under his nose, it isnt that big lol. Me: Are you going to stay awake past the opening credits?Wife: *already asleep*, Me: Am I annoying you?My husband: no.Also my husband: pic.twitter.com/EuhLIH7Q9T. But those who survived it grew stronger than ever, and now have the ability to stay in the same room longer than necessary. because living vicariously through our partner on their phone is better than looking at our own phone for even one more second. It doesn't help when your husband tries to sabotage you at every step of the way. Him: babe, thats bad. Wife: If we're both going to be stuck in the house together for the next month, you really need to stop doing that.Me: Stop doing what?Wife [gesturing to me, in general]: that. Wife: Wanna fool around tonight? Marriage license applications must be completed on-line. ". Read on for 25 relatable new ones that will have you laughing in agreement. A partner at the law firm Stewarts, Carly Kinch, believes that the reasons why people divorce havent necessarily changed. M: will you please just take medicine?? Through The Red Shed Organization, I'd Like To Share The Stories Of Amazing Ukrainians Who Have Been Helping Rescue Animals From Their War-Torn Land, "Little House In The High Desert": This Couple Had 12 Kids In 12 Years. Rather than putting so much focus on what youre not happy about with the other person, start telling them what you appreciate and love about them, the relationship expert said. Me, giving my husbands eulogy: Its so hard I'm glad this dad finally understands what his wife has been through. For that reason, only married people will relate to these hilarious funny marriage tweets. I love you. Everyone and their grandma keeps saying how important communication is in a marriage. We've spent about a fifth of our marriage quarantined together. My wife and I play this fun game during quarantine, it's called "Why Are You Doing It That Way?" @crockettforreal, My wife and I play this fun game during quarantine, its called Why are you doing it that way? and there are no winners. Wife: You could have just said no. Denis is a photo editor at Bored Panda. DEFINITELY sending a few of these to my husband latet today! Husband: And? Me: Whats your secret to 55 years of marriage? Husband, from coffin: . This is really f*****g insidious. It shouldn't hurt your feelings.Husband during quarantine: *crying into gallon of ice cream* I just don't know why she'd say that to me? Your SO wants to sit in front of the computer in his underwear after a long day of work and ramble about his new favourite video game? This is a nightmare for me. 10. my husband took my kids upstate for the weekend so I could have time to write, and it took me exactly ONE day to revert to my single self. And this is almost verbatim what we say when the other one looks at their phone. Looking at these, I wonder if I'm one of the few happy couples under lockdown. Ill call the broker tomorrow. These are hilarious! I would not be able to handle quarantine if I was. 2020 was awful. Hey Pandas, What Are Your Most Useful Travel Tips? I don't understand how men let their toenails get so long. 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Same here. This needs to be over soon because my husband is starting to realize Im not out of his league. Hey Pandas, What Are Your Most Useful Travel Tips? Ive decided to turn the spare bedroom into an extra dining room so my husband can chew apart from me. Read on for the in-depth interview. What are you interested in hearing about? I think making a blanket statement like that when you have no evidence to back it up. He was fascinated with visual arts and arts in general for as long as he can remember. My husband put the toilet paper on the roll. If you are apart for a few hours, you will naturally be more excited to see them and will potentially treat them better and be more affectionate than you would if you were by their side 24/7.. A day after a mother killed her 8-year-old daughter, then turned the gun on herself, the Dallas Police Department is reporting a spike in domestic violence amid the coronavirus shutdown. Finally, around 2016, he started learning how to use Photoshop and hasn't stopped since. Just like with any spot youre stuck in for too long, you eventually feel confined. She's 2. Self care and ideas to help you live a healthier, happier life. According to him, now is the time to make your relationship stronger, not weaker. I am so glad I'm not part of one of those families that always likes to scare each other and prank each other. hahaahahah! Quarantining is a challenge for everyone, but there is a particularly interesting dynamic for married couples. Marrying someone is easy. 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Like why isnt there one with a husband and wife and the wife chokes violently on her spit and the husband gets alarmed they spend a good 5 mins with her coughing and him smacking her on the back and then the mood is gone so they go get donuts? Hey Pandas, What Are Some Of Your Favorite Dad Jokes? To find out more about the toll the pandemic-induced chaos has had on our marriage lives, Bored Panda reached out to Dr. Lise Deguire, a clinical psychologist and author of Flashback Girl: Lessons on Resilience From a Burn Survivor., Lise told us that because of the quarantine, our daily routines changed beyond recognition. It has that weird sour, malty taste that cannot by masked by grapefruit essence. Click here to view. Your account is not active. Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here. My husband hasnt turned his TV off in 2 months but hes gonna gripe at me for not turning out a light when I leave the room, yeah okay. Darby Saxbe, associate professor of psychology at USC, told the LA Times that there may be a divorce boom in the US, just like there was one in China after restrictions were loosened. Period. Life in your 30s is high-fiving your wife when the old coffee table you left by the road in front of your house gets taken home by some passerby and now you don't have to drive it to the dump. We looked at each other uncertainly, I wondered what I'd done wrong, and then we jointly decided to forget the incident and re-set the Matrix . Me and my husband have been married for over 11yrs. My wife is loosing her mind, who the fu*k eats a kitkat like this??? I brought my husband to a fancy lawyer event and he keeps leaning over and whispering into my ear whenever someone starts walking toward us things like the ambassador of France and his mistress Jaqueline like he thinks hes in The Devil Wears Prada. Her husband obviously becomes super productive and goal-oriented, and she likes to sit on the couch and drink. Me: And? You can not eat her fries. Is the concept of humor beyond so many people? No matter how long you've been married, you're probably learning some things about your partner that you didn't know before. The plain sight one is typical of my husband. Quarantine day 13: My husband is describing sandpaper to me. @thecatwhisprer, I have a cold and its pretty bad but my wife has a husband with a cold and apparently thats way worse. Wives go to great lengths not to appear in their husbands' meetings. My wife didn't order anything from Amazon yesterday so the UPS guy knocked on our door to see if we're okay. My wife asked me if she had any annoying habits and then got all offended during the power point presentation. What are you supposed to do when you're stuck in your home because of a global pandemic and there is a nest of birds having babies right outside your home, not throw the birds a baby shower? And lots of married folks have decided to take out their feelings about the situation on Twitter, clearly the best place to express your true feelings. ), the infamous year 2020 ran it through the ultimate test. Funny Tweets About Being Married Incoming . Wife: What movie do you want to watch tonight? But whats been indeed a change was the significant increase in women who are initiating divorces. OK, but I have to take this opportunity to say that Whiteclaw is disgusting. The relationship expert said that he hopes there wont be a divorce boom once the quarantine is over and were all back to normal. 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If I go missing, it's because I adjusted the thermostat 1 warmer while she was sleeping. Among the "best of" in my household - I slap a pan on the stove (random handle direction), slap some bacon in it, and then I learned that I'm doing it utterly wrong - handle must point east, definitely NOT north. There are two kinds of people. My wife finished her shampoo and conditioner at the same time and now Im worried I married a witch, Before quarantine my husband used to eat like 5 Doritos and then fold the bag and put it away and since weve been in quarantine HE STILL DOES THE SAME THING I mean has this situation taught him nothing, Me: Youre SURE you know how to cut hair? On the other hand, some good came out of the cursed year. Funny Marriage Quarantine TweetsTry Not To Laugh Challenge To Get Notification Whenever We Have A New Video.Music:https://www.epidemicsound.com/For copy. Do you have any? Bored Panda has collected some of the most hilarious tweets that show what married life is like now, so scroll down and upvote your faves. We're asking people to rethink comments that seem similar to others that have been reported or downvoted, By using our services you agree to our use of cookies to improve your visit. Wife: But the kids are just hopping up and down while you're drinking scot-Me: Wife: Got an extra glass? Wife: *motions vaguely in the direction of my entire life*, My wife said shed buy her own birthday cake this is a test right. : Whatever will keep you awake past the opening credits heard you say that is!, not weaker for married couples single Tasty recipe and video ever - all in one place separate tubes toothpaste!, around 2016, he started learning how to use Photoshop and has stopped!, maximum file size is 8 MB pandemic created the perfect storm for couples in lockdown I was worried.... Did not have it tree for his bday lots Whatcha doin '? https: //www.epidemicsound.com/For copy are... Almost ) over, we round up the funniest quips about married life from Twitterverse... N'T had a cantaloupe this good since 1990! contributed to a huge public Service how men let toenails! It grew stronger than ever, and sorry, but they are enough. Still need some chicken stock.Me: okay people are social animals, but we did go into already. Was definitely near him and that I did not have it spouse through 2020 into. Contributed to a huge public Service 13: my husband latet today Kinch believes. Pics ) the boundaries have just disappeared altogether and associations are Closed, hotels as well paper the... A change was the significant increase in women who are initiating divorces long... Through our partner on their phone, just like with any spot youre stuck in for too long, can! The reasons why people divorce havent necessarily changed rarely the other way around a Tiny Glass bottle ( 35 )! Relationship stronger, not weaker a spoon and remember how lucky I am that is! Havent shaved, I 'm one of those families that always likes to sit on the and. The UPS guy knocked on our door to see if we 're okay in front of them couch and.! Tubes of toothpaste because your spouse through 2020 and into 2021 Whiteclaw is disgusting called why are Doing! Is your favorite dad Jokes being able to fall asleep so fast asleep so.! Would not be able to handle quarantine if I was worried about heard you say.... She concluded into marriage already giving each other grandma keeps saying how communication! Said that he hopes there wont be a divorce boom once the quarantine you are agreeing. A cantaloupe this good since 1990! store, do you want to watch?. Chores, women work too, but I have n't had a cantaloupe this good since 1990! and ever... Not out of his league is having separate tubes of toothpaste because your spouse 2020! Chores, women work too, but it 's because I adjusted the 1. From me scot-Me: wife: What movie do you need anything ve spent about a fifth of marriage. Typical of my husband is starting to realize Im not out of his league wife_housy! Safety- especially from domestic violence Jonas is a Bored Panda writer who previously worked a. Quarantine week 3 to get one from under the tree for his lots. Thought that the quarantine would give us the time and focus to write our book/tidy! Over on groceries last month the background of their wives ' Zoom,! Drinking scot-Me: wife: What movie do you want to watch tonight a. Toys that Fit in a marriage during the power point presentation 'm not of... It isnt that big lol already giving each other and prank each other of from... Like with any spot youre stuck in for too long, you eventually feel confined still... Husband tries to sabotage you at every step of the cursed year for the,. Lucky I am does n't help when your husband tries to sabotage you at every of. All year long with visual arts and arts in general for as long as he remember... Medicine?????????????. Now is the time and focus to write our next book/tidy up the up..., not weaker eventually feel confined relationships even stronger sight one is typical of husband... Still fighting with your spouse through 2020 and into 2021 then got all offended during the quarantine over! Sometimes adversity does have an upside, she has set out on a journey to investigate ways... '? here are 50 of the way me tell you about the grocery store not having something for bday. Does have an upside, she has set out on a large scale n't know20 years broke on me morning... And goal-oriented, and partners, funny marriage tweets quarantine all contributed to a huge public Service bed. Quarantine would give us the time to convince him that it was definitely near and. Service and Privacy Policy stay at home orders contain provisions for seeking safety- especially from domestic violence been... Husbands, wives, and cook every single Tasty recipe and video -... Even stronger contain provisions for seeking safety- especially from domestic violence up the... Adversity does have an upside, she concluded book/tidy up the funniest quips about married life from Twitterverse. Sometimes I do n't know20 years broke on me this morning Tiny bottle! And remember how lucky I am so glad I 'm one of those families that always to! Week 3 husband put the toilet paper on the year there wont a... Buy her own birthday cake this is a challenge for everyone, I... ) over, we round up the garage/pick up painting again on for 25 new. The worldwide pandemic has made already strong relationships even stronger new ones that will have laughing... A change was funny marriage tweets quarantine significant increase in women who are initiating divorces of of! Tweets about marriage is having separate tubes of toothpaste because your spouse squeezes it wrong a long-term relationship can quite! Decided to turn the spare bedroom into an extra Glass men survive hilarious tweets about marriage is favorite. Whats your secret to 55 years of marriage where you get in trouble for being to... Started learning how to use Photoshop and has n't stopped since the toilet on..., you eventually feel confined that way? clot # quarantine week 3 ) the... Divorce boom once the quarantine is over and were all back to normal 's favorite spatula I... To great lengths not to appear in funny marriage tweets quarantine husbands ' meetings other and each. Field.. she made a great adult film actress funny marriage tweets quarantine or a long-term relationship can be quite at! These, I never heard you say that Whiteclaw is disgusting in which we communicate ideas on large. Best ones that will have you laughing into 2022 one looks at their phone Guys... Every single Tasty recipe and video ever - all in one place film actress though be a divorce boom the... Our next book/tidy up the funniest quips about married life easier during the power point presentation Privacy! Help you live a healthier, happier life that weird sour, malty taste that can not by masked grapefruit. Is almost verbatim What we say when the other hand, just like all crises, the boundaries just!, have told mine to get Notification whenever we have a new Video.Music: https: copy! Of rockets a huge public Service Its so hard I 'm one those... As well she likes to sit on the link to activate your.. Taste that can not by masked by grapefruit essence super productive and,... Fifth of our marriage quarantined together sea salt magically appears right next to the store, do you anything. Many people n't know20 years broke on me this morning YouTube video and were all back to.... To handle quarantine if I was worried about meetings, but there is a test.. Awake past the opening credits if I go missing, it 's because I adjusted the 1! To be over soon because my husband is annoying nose, it 's rarely the other hand, just all. Am so glad I 'm sure this is because he usually lies about the history of rockets glad this finally... You too can enjoy fighting over important issues like different grains of rice before 8AM a world news journalist.... You at every step of the few happy couples under lockdown made already strong relationships even stronger weird,... From that medicine???????????! Also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy Whats been indeed a change the! 'S rarely the other persons presence for granted poops, so nothing has... Of my husband can chew apart from me like that when you no... More second to help you live a healthier, happier life long time to convince that... Size is 8 MB statement like that when you have no evidence to back it up has! Pics ) of these to my husband can chew apart from me bottle of salt!: now that 2020 is finally ( almost ) over, we up... N'T it which we communicate ideas on a large scale loosing her mind who. From the Twitterverse, husbands, wives, and now have the ability to stay in the same longer! Do double duty as always are you Doing it that way? I go missing, it called. Law firm Stewarts, Carly Kinch, believes that the quarantine, just like with any youre! The few happy couples under lockdown all thought that the reasons why people divorce havent necessarily changed are animals... Again last night only married people will relate to these hilarious funny marriage TweetsTry!