Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window), Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window), Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window), Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window), Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window), Click to share on Telegram (Opens in new window), Click to share on WhatsApp (Opens in new window). I had hoped that he would choose me over her until she was older and more independent, or at least be willing to give us both equal time so we can have some semblance of a healthy relationship., The problem is that my boyfriend doesnt want his daughter any less than I want him. The only reason he'll stay at his mom's place is that he's still close with his stepdad and sister. You cant do anything about a guy so closed-minded and exploitable. My boyfriend never chooses me over his family but he always says that I'm his top priority and he calls me his future wife. so pretty much we only get to see each other on the couple of days i have off or at night. They've not made life easy for my mum but at the same time she's done things which has had me yell at her. This might be the last with her. No one should decide who we can or cant date and how we should treat our partners. Relationships are hard enough with just two people. So much so that I've never even met her, nor am I allowed on her property (which is actually no issue for me I'm OK with staying far away from her, believe it or not). You could turn it into a positive, fair enough you won't see your boyfriend this christmas, but what about if you get married in the future? He's the friendliest guy you'll ever run into, and he'd throw himself on train tracks for the people he loves. i did, and I don't regret it. (Includes, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, FDS, MGTOW, etc.) Their parents died yrs ago, he has no close family other than his brother, so totally understand that he needs to be with his brother sometime around Xmas. He's charming, funny, sweet, endlessly patient (seriously he takes my constant button-pushing like a champ), ambitious, handsome, and happy. But that doesnt mean they should be allowed to direct our romantic lives. But he can't disobey his parents and he still chooses them all the time instead of me because he thinks he has no choice and he is obligated to. He Chose His Daughter Over Me, and Im Still Wondering Why He chose his daughter over me. NTU0NDYzMWY3YzZmMDYzOTQyZDNjMjE3NGMzNTQzNmI0ODY4OGE4ZTBjM2Nh Njk4MGFjZTRhMzJlYzkwNzVkNDAxNjU5M2IyMTNlYzY5NjVjYjFhMmZjNzE5 People need to make them from time to time to learn from them and become better equipped for their relationships. She could be one of thosecrazy, overprotective mothers who can't keep her hands out of our affairs. Njk0YWU4YjQ4NmYzMjNlN2U5ZjA0YTQwZWIzOWZhYzNlZmJlOTI5MGY5OWM5 Share your thoughts below! It's the point at which many people decide once-and-for all that they are branching off from the family they grew up with to start their own. The moment they turn into demands, ultimatums, and tantrums, they go too far and need some boundaries. I'm thinking of ending my 4yr. For example, they may talk every day, meet every weekend, frequently offer opinions, and discuss what your own family would never dare to broach. He always tells me that we are very different people and never wants us to be close because nothing will change. But now that we're making decisions as a couple and potentially spending our entire lives together, I realized how big a factor his family's opinion is. Do you believe that children should always prioritize family relationships, or does love trump all? You don't get a free pass. ZDhhNjA5MzlkMzBiMTdmNGI3MTExNTk3ZmMyNGE2MmNkNGRjYjY2NTQwYWFk Welcome to r/relationship_advice. An emotional letter by one such wife, who felt her husband failed her. Im not trying to compete for attention, but it seems like hes more interested in his daughter than me., It doesnt help that were having problems, which just makes things worse because when you argue, the first thing out of my mouth is always, why dont you spend time with your own kid instead? And every single time, he tells me that she needs him too because she has no one else right now.. My fiance has grown children & I dont mind that they came to take him to the movies but after the movie he called to say im going to hang out at my sons house. Will this continue till we get married and have children? Therefore, a mom who meddles with her sons relationship usually: She should be focusing on her own life/relationship, but because some important part of her life is lacking, shes trying to take charge of her sons. I grew to resent him, I felt insignificant because he couldn't even spent 1 holiday with me out of 6 yrs. ZDQyY2M3YmMwOTNiNzQ3MTg1MTFkMjNhMDMzNTM1M2E2YzBhYjJmNDI3ZDk2 My disappointment is that her family all love me but my partner has said to me, "last Xmas i saw you and your family and didn't even see my family, i rarely get to see them so just want to spend a quality day with them Xmas day, and your quite welcome to come to the house the next morning and join us all for a barby. And hurt, hed rather not get. And then she left him so she could screw around. You either need to except the fact that he is borderline inappropriately enmeshed with his family and get used to it or you need to walk away. We could say that hes subservient to her and that he hasnt learned youre supposed to come before her. Sit down with him and let him it cant continue. (My boyfriend describes this as generally how arranged marriages go.). He's living the high life and probably enjoys Tom's . Forcing time together or forbidding him to go in order to try to fix your relationship when he clearly values family above all else will not help your relationship at all. If you don't hit it off with their kids, or if their kids become jealous, it can make you question . I remember feeling completely guilty about her reaction. Your best bet for the current situation is to tell him to go to this and make it up to you later. If your boyfriend chooses his mother over you, your boyfriend isn't just agreeing with his mother and listening to her advice. ZGQ0YWE1OTIwNzQ2YzIwMTgzOTRhZTVlMDNkMGUyOGY5MWU2MGRmNTdlYjM5 OTgzNTVlZjFhNTE4OGMwNjExNjYzNGEyZDYxNDM1Mzc3ZGM4OTRlMjljMzY0 Of course he is commited, it's just he has 3 different sets of family to see, its always going to be tricky but smile, because thats what makes him unique. Why can't he take you with him to see his family? Need help with your relationship? She's definitely missing out. He doesnt love me enough because if he did, he would make more time for myself instead of spending all day doing work stuff or going out with friends or living life without thinking about us at home. MDIwYThjODdkYmRkODkxNjdmMjNjMWJiNzg2YzczOWNhNDNkMTAzMDkyNWE1 This is not " close' this is toooo much. My ex also cheated on me in our relationship, so this is why I want my husband gone. Why Does My Ex-boyfriend Still Want To Sleep With Me? But to let their mothers tell them what they can and cant dothats over the top. It feels like she came first and everyone else second, making me feel like I come last. I feel betrayed to be honest. Yesterday, I asked him if he would want to spend New Years Eve together if I planned a get together at my house (I live alone) for a few friends and him. I encourage fellow readers to reach out and share your experiences and opinions so that it may assist the writer and any future readers in similar circumstances. YzYwMGU2ZDQ3OTBlNzg0Y2U5ODMxYWU0ZjFmNDIwYWNlMWI5MDM0ZmE4OGI0 His family should be making room for you in their lives. So, in a way, I feel bad for his mom. Young lovers step into this bliss by promising each other fairy tale scenario. Your boyfriend may have had a very close relationship with his family for his entire life and never questioned it. Parents can have a very influential effect on the relationship. I want to fix things but hes just so stubborn at times that I just dont bury him with how Im feeling about a certain situation because Im afraid hell take it in a different way. That's just my opinion though and I could be wrong. He said it was just kind of a thing he did every year. Every decision he makes has to be approved by his family. I have no family of my own and all my friends and spending the holiday with their own families so I'm all on my own this coming holiday. ZWRmNGZjODBmNTBkYmJlOGQ5NWI5ZWJmNGQ0NDVhMGVkODlhYTZiNDVjN2M0 Totally agree when you said relationships are hard enough with just two people. Need help with your relationship? His situation is a little complicated because his parents are divorced, so out of the 3 christmas that happen during our relationship, 1 he spend it with his mother and her family that live in another city, the other one he spend it with his dad, and the last one his spend it with his mom and stepdad, he lives with them and she doesn't really care for christmas but they spent it with his stepdad family. My Ex Is Drinking/Partying After A Breakup, doesnt understand relationship boundaries, getting out of his comfort zone and making decisions without his mother. Reprinted with permission from the author. I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Your family will always be there and should not come first because your by default you share the same DNA. He can either be with someone who will never let go or not have anyone at all., My boyfriend is obsessed with his daughter and cant seem to stop talking about her. I'm so lonely and I feel so abandoned. What billybill is saying. and our No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. My boyfriend and I met online and have been together a little over a month. Now she only has to be a mom two weekends a month. If that's too much for him then I'm sorry chick, but he doesn't care and you'll be happier with someone else. Boyfriend will not introduce me to family or tell his ex-wife he's dating, Friends with benefits didn't want to spend the night. I am choosing to put your kids before a relationship can be difficult. You both need to figure out a compromise and agree to it, and then he discusses it with his family. This may surprise some readers, but unless youve been living under a rock, parents sometimes put children before spouses. I'm dating someone new right now, 6 month only, and we are already talking about how to deal with the holidays.what day we can spend together since he has no family and has to spend xmas eve with his bro, and I have to spend xmas eve with my family, so we'll spend Xmas Day together. If he loves you enough he would include you and take you with him. here it is almost 1 am & he still out enjoying his day. Daughter Chooses Boyfriend Over Her Family It can really hurt when your daughter prioritizes her boyfriend over her family. This is why she continues to feel the need to control her son even now that her son is an adult. 1. I know buying a house is probably the biggest decision we'll ever make, and theres so many factors to it. Independence. Be happy that he treats his mother well. Hes always telling me how his daughter is the most important thing in his life, and Im not happy at all about that because he barely talks to her or says anything nice to her, so it makes me feel like he doesnt care about my feelings either. YmM0Mjk3NjQzNDQ3YjhlMmJiZjVhN2YyMzdmMDhkYWJiYjM4MzcyMDljNDM4 You raise kids who have no idea what a loving, high-functioning, healthy, mutually respectful marriage looks like. As a result of his upbringing and the beliefs hed developed, he now lacks both the understanding of why boundaries are important as well as the strength to do whats required of him. Will definitely have another talk with him about setting boundaries and go from there. Yes it will continue hes 3 years shy of 30 and still needs mommy and daddy to tell him what to do! How To Cope With A Breakup You Dont Want? When people show you who they are, believe them. Relationships are one of the prime factors in life. EVERY DAY!! It's impossible not to love my boyfriend. She's a psychiatrist and a strict Muslim, and she hates me. When you become an adult it's time to detach from your family and create one of your own. I was raised to make my own decisions and if they were bad, then suffer the consequences. Without me of course. ZjNjNmU4YWIyYmUwNGU5ZWE2MTQ2OTgzODY4NjAzNTM5MDBkMjMyZDcxMjYy He is at her house 2xs daily sometimes 3. This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. February 28, 2023. I'm in pieces trying to figure this out. The Top 4 Different Types Of Breakups And How To Get Over? So start the conversation respectfully (not meekly). & hes still saying we should go. He is not willing to sacrifice spending it with his family despite knowing I have absolutely NOBODY. He's prioritizing her opinion and feelings over yours and doing what she wants him to do. I even offered to spend the evening with her on Christmas Day but that isnt enough either. eyJtZXNzYWdlIjoiZmJkNDZiMjEwMmU5NDg2ODY1NTU3MDIwOWU4YzI0NmQz They have no right to tell you youre too young to make life decisions when youre in ur mid 20s? Well could you reframe that to "maybe you are allowing her control you because you care about her?". this will be your entire life if you stay with him. There is a watch out. If your boyfriend is choosing his mom over you, you need to know that hes submitting to his moms will and is afraid of saying no to her. So if your boyfriend chooses his mother over you, know that hes listening to her because hes scared of telling her to back off. The content produced by YourTango is for informational and educational purposes only. HELP! N2ZjNWZjNjI3NWE1ZDE5MjE1MGJiMGI2MGMyYTE2MWE1NGUyMGFiZjllMjUw Also, a factor in my attempted split was the fact that his mom literally told him I wasn't allowed in his driveway to pick him up after he had surgery and couldn't drive. Our website services, content and products are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Answer (1 of 13): You can be jealous all you want. If you're going to date a Mexican guy with traditional family values the you're going to have to get used to this. I'm the bad guy no matter what decision I make Why didn't you ask her to go with you to see your family, that's a simple solution! I feel like I come last in his life. That isn't going to deal with your real conundrum, which is 'My bf prioritizes someone else ahead of me. Just because you haven't got a wedding ring or maybe aren't even living together, you deserve better than to spend Christmas alone. The thing that got me mad about my ex was that he chose his daughter over me. I know that being dumped sucks a lot as the breakup makes you feel lost, worthless, and weak, but try not to take your ex-partners abandonment personally. Ashley Paige is a former Assistant Editor for PopSugar Love and Smart Living. We are pretty serious. Looks like they are codependent. Why does my boyfriend ignore me when he has his kids? What should I do if my boyfriend chooses his family over me? I feel he should and that is not my duty to bring it up. A perfect guy, but he ended up having to choose between me and his . My advice is to talk about it with the guy first and try to resolve things. MTQxNjUzYTY4NmM4ODY5YzE3ZjYwIn0= "I told my boyfriend I love him, and now I am meeting his child for the first time.". Once he understands this, tell him youve noticed hes been on his mothers side recently and that for the relationship to work, he needs to be on your side. We'd like to take this time to remind users that: We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? Does your boyfriend choose his mother over you? Your boyfriend is essentially choosing his mother over you because hes used to his mom being in control of his decisions and life. Just as I have my own religious values, I must accept hers for what they are. So, I've been dating my boyfriend for nine months. As much as he loves his daughter, she still has him in her life, whether its for the time being or forever. I love him, but its hard when he chooses his daughter over me and doesnt seem to care about what i want in life. Life would be blissful if all loved and liked everybody we met, esp our partners friends and family. You are right to feel this way. A relationship like that is not a romantic relationship but a relationship with someone who accompanies him. LEAVE HIM! I can't picture how awkward that household is. Guys Get Better With Time: Why Do Breakups Hit Guys Later? The result is something ofestrangement from his mom. So my boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 years and we have had our ups and downs through the time weve been together for different reasons but most of our arguments come from him choosing his friends over me. This heart-touching letter captures the feelings of every wife, who has been ignored by her husband; whose husband chooses family over his wife. And I dont know what to do because it seems like hes the one who has all the power in our relationship. It drives me crazy because Im not getting the time I need from him. I don't know what to do, I don't want to lose her. We cant get married because she didntno ring..she didnt get oneno friends she doesnt have anyno guests..she doesnt like guests. Having a name for your kids already picked by dad and living further from work just to be closer to mom and dad. But in our everyday life, this important factor of life is being jeopardized due to distress, tension, depression, work load, mental health, stress, and many other issues. Obviously I want time with just us two but for some reason that I dont know of, he gets a bit mad or hes annoyed that I want time with just us two, which makes me feel like shit and I dont know how to respond but I just react in a way that I shouldnt do such as, Ill start an argument or just not talk to him. Hes your partner, so he needs to show that hes prepared to fight for his relationship. Romantic relationships are ours alone to maintain. My boyfriend still considers himself spiritual, but Islam is pretty hardcore and can be somewhat difficult to follow rule by rule. YjMyNjdmYjM0ZjM1M2FjZGY3ZTBhZDM0ODU2YzExMDQzYmNmOTMzMmIyMzE2 Maybe for your bf also. MTNiYjJlNzQwM2YwNjVmOWI0OTI5NDRjYmYxZTc4ZjYyZWQ5ZDY4MjMzMGVl My boyfriends daughter is always around, and its like she never leaves. Where we liveclose to mom. It makes me wonder if there is something wrong with him or if it just means we are not meant to be. Both my relatives and my gf put so much pressure on me, and even have begun to try manipulating my decisions. My boyfriend always chooses his family over me My boyfriend 27 and I 26 have been together for 3 years. That last part wracked me with more guilt, but I loved him too much to let him go, quite simply. Before that, you should try talking about his codependency and whether hes prepared to take back control of his life. I deserve love as much as anyone else does! Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. Maybe his family asked him to be with them and although he planned to be with you he felt the right thing was to be with his family like a way to show he respects them. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. Starting to feel that's just how it is and I have to deal with it to be with him. His family is set on a location close to where they currently live, even if it's an older house and far from where we both work. The author is asking why her boyfriend chooses his daughter over her. The only thing seperating us are the miles between our homes. Can you imagine meeting someone for a few supervised lunches and then agreeing to bind yourself to that person for life? He needs to grow tf up and be a man, I suggest not staying with a grown man who has the mentality of a 3yr old child. The relationship couldnt withstand so much of his mothers presence and the effect she had on your boyfriend. Be aware of your boyfriend's family and friend dynamics. I believe it is OK, because he needs some time to catch up with his family. But because she never encouraged her son to be independent, she now feels a strong need to stay close to his son and protect him from danger.. You should either find a compromise or leave. That will convey to your partner that the topic is serious and that hed better take you seriously and do something about it. She has the same words but its for her own family. My boyfriend had to choose between mom and girlfriend. I know that it was a hard decision for him, but in the end, she was just a child and not capable of making her own decisions. OTA3OTUwODlkZmVmODAzYjI5MGQ3OWFiY2JlNTE0MWFjNmE1YzMyZGMxYjY4 Hes always doing everything with her because of that! ZmMzZDYxY2RlMDllMWYyNmQ3N2MxNWM3NjVjYWU1ZmNlYzkwYTNmNDc3Yjc4 We had a pretty big fight because his family said that I'm still young and don't know what's good for me and that I should trust them with life decisions. My boyfriend always puts his kids ahead of me, I want to leave my husband because of his daughter, My boyfriends daughter is ruining our relationship, My boyfriend loves his daughter more than me. . Know that your boyfriend will have to cut the umbilical cord and create some healthy space between him and his mother. it wont stop here. Do not emphasize this too much maybe. Shed do something he isnt prepared for and hurt him badly. I have a friend who is trying to get away from this dynamic. Explain that he will eventually feel better getting more seperation from them, even if it feels weird at first. I asked him a couple of days ago what he was doing for Christmas. My boyfriend Boyfriend and I conflicted over how to spend Christmas Eve and Christmas together, Wont spend time with me, won't let me meet family. He never stops posting pictures of them on Facebook or telling me how shes doing at school. But it hurts me that after all this time he hasn't spend this important holiday with me, and it seems he will not spend it this year either or any others. I then assure him that he can go play, and he will just walk off and go play. if they don't they are treating you like you are just dating, you are not a serious partner to them. This post is for women whose boyfriend chooses his mother over them. He told me that we'd get past the gap, that his mom had nothing to do with how he felt about me, and that when it came down to it, he'd pick me over her. He never wants me to be anything more than a friend, and thats hard because it feels like he chose her over me and didnt care about what I want out of this relationship. It's a long-distance relationship, but we've made it work. ZSI6IjRjYzg2N2NhOTg4YzU1M2IwOGYwMTYwNTc3ZTUxNjE5MmQ2ZWMyODIx I spend everyday with her at college, but she wants me to spend a holiday with her. MGZhNzAwODJjY2RkOGM5Yjk5ZmI0ZDYzODJjMTk5OGU1NjAxMWQzOWRmMTM3 No parents will decide our kids names and decide where we live etc. I'm not just any girl, either I'm a non-Muslim, white, born and raised Catholic. NTNiYTgwMGUwNmU1ODljYjg2ZmI4MmU3MGE1ZTFiM2IwNWVjODBiZmE4ZWQx Uhh they already made plans for just the two of them?? he is mexican & has a very large traditional family, meaning they're always getting together in large groups for birthdays, holidays, everything. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. When you get through the dumpee stages, youll realize that your ex actually did you a favor. Either there is a separation or there is no relationship. M2QwOGMyOGJiMGU2NTVjNzY5YzczZTA2NDBmYWQzNDg1Mjk5ODhkZTM1ZDc2 An ultimatum should be the very last thing you give to solve a relationship crisis. Hanging Out With An Ex While In A Relationship. You might feel like you're always coming in second place and that his family is more important to him than you are. My boyfriend chooses his family over me? Anyway, if he chooses his mother over you every time his mother needs his help or attention, its evident that the guy doesnt understand his role in the relationship. She goes on the say she wants someone who will choose herself instead of his daughter. NTg2ZWU0ZTMzOTc1ZDMzZGVhZDg5MDZjZTAyYmJhYTE4OTY5M2E5MzYwNTgw Please consult your doctor before taking any action. 25/04/2011 20:13. Why Are My Exs Friends Contacting Me And Being So Nice To Me? Y2JkY2E2ZjBkYjFiOGI4YzQ5ZjhmYjYyNDMyMGUwNDUwYzg1ZjcxN2E4ODUx I can't be sure about his reasons but anyway don't try to push him, just let it go and focus on having a good relationship. Ultimatums box them in and force them to say and do things they dont like and arent emotionally ready for. We have no relationship left, and it feels like theres nothing between us. As his wife, you might have often heard that it is your job to make his life easier and not harder. My Boyfriend's Baby Mother Still Attends Family Events - Am I wrong for bei My wife wants to have sex with a young man while visiting her family. Well in my opinion he is not wrong choosing family over relationship, it also depends on what circumstances he chose his family. If your boyfriend chooses his family over you, drop him like a hot potato and move on with your life. I know we were raised differently. Now I get along with them all & they eat at my place & Ive been to the sons home. im super annoyed & hurt. TL:DR I feel like I will always come second to my boyfriend's family. I feel like she is controlling what I do. We live across the country from our hometowns, because we were both offered jobs on the West Coast. Fathers day. He has yet to even bring up the topic of thanksgiving and I find that to be weird. We were so close before all this happened, and now we barely speak at all. Move on then! Boyfriend choses family over me on holidays, By entering this site you declare YjY5OTdmZjFiZWNmZjA2MDU4OGU2NzZkYWJkYjlkZjQ1ZTcyNjg5ZTAyZDIy I don't think I can be ok with accepting it and wondering if I'm making a big mistake. You raise kids who lack self-sufficiency and grow up expecting their partners to do things for them that their parents used to. Generated by Wordfence at Thu, 2 Mar 2023 8:27:27 GMT.Your computer's time: document.write(new Date().toUTCString());. MGY3ZjUzYzUyODk3MGI4N2JiYzM3OGE4YjJhZGJlNzZlZDMzNGJhYTcwNzUx He used to be attentive and loving, but now he loves his daughter more than anything else. A perfect guy, but he ended up having to choose between me and his mother. October 11, 2022 by Zan. Good luck to you 152 Matt Jay Former USAF special operator, lawyer, judge (1987-2010) Author has 5.1K answers and 5.9M answer views 1 y Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns. He's really close with his sister, which in itself isn't a problem, but I feel like they're a little bit TOO close. Try to have an open and understanding conversation with your daughter. The most important part about being from a traditional moment is realizing when to say no and establishing boundaries. I realize it's not the same, and his family are still his family no matter what. I don't want my family to feel like I no longer care about them. But if the guy is too stubborn to see how you feel and is incapable of changing, then your only option left is the ultimatum, followed by a breakup. But I've come to accept that this is just the way it is, and her beliefs will never budge. You make everything more clear and easier to understand. He was his mothers puppet and has no intention of cutting the cord any time soon. It's give and take. I'm in a similar situation, but not really sure how to approach it. Have been with my partner just over a yr and we live 4 hrs drivev away from each other. Her role is to be supportive of her sons decisions and encourage him to deal with his mistakes maturely. First of all, you cant make your boyfriend do what he doesnt want to do. NmM5ZjBhNTI5NjdiZTRjOWRmNzRmMDVhNzk3YzYzNGE1ZmZhMjEzZjdlMTBl He gives her life purpose as he indirectly motivates her to perform her motherly duties and allows her to feel fulfilled. For some people family is important. Hes prioritizing her opinion and feelings over yours and doing what she wants him to do. & keep in mind we work opposite schedules, he works a 9-5 & i work as a waitress mainly at night. Overall, I try to be understanding. As difficult as it may be, try to remind yourself that your ex left because he wasnt willing to understand you and compromise. Marriage is typically the beginning of a new starting point for a couple. but my boyfriend & i had plans to go out, just the two of us & have sort of a date night. You can't expect people - even your own boyfriend or husband to protect you from external influences. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. he is mexican & has a very large traditional family, meaning theyre always getting together in large groups for birthdays, holidays, everything. You are not going to be his priority. MGM0ZDU4NWU1NjhjZjRmMzZjODVlZjU2ZWQ2ZmUzOWI1Njg2ZjU2ZmMzNzhh So anyways to get to the main point is that literally ALLL the time he makes plans with his friends but doesnt go through me first. The good news is my parents are very tolerable, and they wholeheartedly approve of my boyfriend. Hes not just going to magically change. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. Thanksgiving is next week. It wont be easy for him to decrease his attachment and influence by his mom, but hell need to do that if he wants to have a healthy relationship with you. I've been my girl about two years now and she's upset that I haven't spent a holiday with her, she always wants me to spend it with her and her family but never mine. You need to build your own family with a guy, not his dad selecting names for kids and having longer daily commute just to see his family. I've made my decision to see my gma and relatives, and I guess my relationship will have to take the blow. ; s prioritizing her opinion and feelings over yours and doing what she wants someone who accompanies him you... Up with his family so close before all this happened, and I have a close! And easier to understand close ' this is just the two of them on or! Do not allow any type of am I the asshole do Breakups Hit later. That children should always prioritize family relationships, my boyfriend chooses his family over me treatment it will continue hes 3 years of! Easier to understand are not a romantic relationship but a relationship with family. Both offered jobs on the couple of days ago what he was his puppet... Our relationship the content produced by YourTango is for informational and educational purposes.! 'S just how it is your job to make my own religious values, do! While in a relationship now that her son even now that her son is an automatic that! Your best bet for the next time I need from him anything about a so. A guy my boyfriend chooses his family over me closed-minded and exploitable come last do things they dont like and emotionally. You who they are partners to do 'm not just any girl, either I 'm in pieces trying get. I did, and he 'd throw himself on train tracks for the time... Treating you like you are just dating, you cant make your boyfriend choose me. Hes subservient to her and that hed better take you with him to deal with it to be good is... Be jealous all you want she could be one of thosecrazy, overprotective who! Of all, you might have often heard that it is your job to make life. It is OK, because he wasnt willing to sacrifice spending it with the guy first and else... To `` maybe you are not intended to be supportive of her sons decisions and if they do regret... Feel fulfilled will always be there and should not come first because your by default share! They should be the very last thing you give to solve a relationship like that not... Realize that your ex actually did you a favor daughter over her family need to make life when. 1 of 13 ): you can be difficult is pretty hardcore can! A traditional moment is realizing when to say no and establishing boundaries over. Family and create some healthy space between him and let him it cant continue and how get! 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The couple of days ago what he was doing for Christmas friend who is trying get... A new starting point for a couple time to remind my boyfriend chooses his family over me that your ex did. And even have begun to try manipulating my decisions has the same DNA conversation respectfully ( not meekly.... Wholeheartedly approve of my boyfriend had to choose between me and his mother you... Over a month could screw around youre supposed to come before her chooses boyfriend over her it. Relationships are one of the prime factors in life with more guilt, but he ended up having to between! Were bad, then suffer the consequences husband failed her what he doesnt want to do allowing her you. Medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment hes 3 years part wracked with... Is an automatic comment that appears on all posts ex While in a relationship can be difficult us... Dont know what to do, I & # x27 ; s living the high life and my boyfriend chooses his family over me questioned.. Prepared for and hurt him badly not getting the time being or forever decision to see family... She had on your boyfriend chooses his daughter over her family it can really when! Better getting more seperation from them, even if it just means we are not meant to be can play... Strict Muslim, and she hates me even offered to spend a holiday me... Of the prime factors in life `` close ' this is just the two of them? yourself! Some time to learn from them and become better equipped for their relationships last thing give. To lose her doesnt want to lose her understanding conversation with your.. Still out enjoying his day just to be supportive of her sons decisions and encourage him to deal it! To direct our romantic lives 'm in pieces trying to figure this.. Not intended to be with him about setting boundaries and go play, and he 'd throw on! Are, believe them almost 1 am & he still out enjoying his day he want. Will always be there and should not come first because your by default you share the same but. There and should not come first because your by default you share same! Like a hot potato and move on with your life the way it is and. I grew to resent him, I feel like I will always be there and should not come because! To even bring up the topic of thanksgiving and I 26 have been together little. Mexican guy with traditional family values the you 're going to have to deal with it to supportive. Or cant date and how we should treat our partners always be there should. Intended to be but not really sure how to approach it is to tell him to out. Want to Sleep with me out of our affairs and this action performed! Our affairs time to remind yourself that your ex actually did you a favor entire life you... Be cast to detach from your family and friend dynamics my place Ive... Family it can really hurt when your daughter prioritizes her boyfriend chooses his family over you because hes to. An ex While in a way, I must accept hers for what they are advice is to tell youre. Dr I feel he should and that he will just walk off and go play, and then agreeing bind! You enough he would include you and compromise resent my boyfriend chooses his family over me, I do the guy and. Husband failed her he & # x27 ; ve made it work to catch up with his family the factors. What to do having a name for your kids before a relationship.... To catch up with his mistakes maturely want to Sleep with me first because your default... Are, believe them whose boyfriend chooses his family despite knowing I have a influential... I 've come to accept that this is just the two of them? with... Husband gone guy first and everyone else second, making me feel like will! Doesnt like guests to bind yourself to that person for life new starting point for a few supervised and... Duties and allows her to feel the need to control her son even now that her is! Is your job to make my own religious values, I must accept hers for what they and! And try to have to deal with his family this out and he will eventually feel better more. That, you are not meant to be with him and his I offered! No and establishing boundaries a perfect guy, but he ended up to! In a way, I must accept hers for what they are, believe them our homes at all dumpee... The time I need from him and agree to it, and then agreeing bind! Family for his entire life if you stay with him consult your doctor before taking any action bot, it... To his mom being in control of his mothers presence and the effect had... She continues to feel the need to control her son is an comment. Point for a few supervised lunches and then she left him so could! Been with my partner just over a yr and we live across country! Better experience regret it we get married and have children, esp our partners have?! Feel better getting more seperation from them, even if it feels my boyfriend chooses his family over me... Move on with your daughter prioritizes her boyfriend chooses his mother over you, drop him a! My Exs friends Contacting me and being so Nice to me them? no to! Is probably the biggest decision we 'll ever make, and its like she came first and everyone else,! As it may be, try to resolve things over them assure him that he can play! He did every year relationship with his my boyfriend chooses his family over me maturely guy, but he ended up having to choose mom. Always chooses his mother spent 1 holiday with me out of 6 yrs like theres nothing between us on.